A guarantee from a grump

Chris is off to an 0-2 start after losses to Hal and Bob, and he is putting on a clinic for offensive futility.

Week 1: 3 homers, 12 RBIs, 1 stolen base, .237 average, .648 OPS
Week 2: 1 homer, 15 RBIs, 7 stolen bases, .173 average, .485 OPS

Stunningly awful numbers, and not hard to see why he's 0-2.


But, out of nowhere and with no prompting, Chris reached out to me Monday to tell me he would beat Dave this week.

"Is that a guarantee, on the record?" I asked him.

"Sure."

Surprised that he would do such a thing against Dave's rock 'em, sock 'em 2-0 bunch, I waited a day before asking Chris to answer a few questions so I could get into the mind of why he made this guarantee.

He wasn't too kind in his response, refusing to speak about the reasoning behind this after he came to me with the original statement.

Just so nothing is taken out of context, here's the interview in its full entirety.

Commish: May I ask you a couple questions (for the blog)?

Chris: Speak your mind.

Commish: What possessed you to make such an outrageous statement when your team is as bad as it is and fans are as pissed as they are?

Chris: OK that will not be answered. Next

Commish: Why not?

Chris: Because I don't feel like it

Commish: Do you not think it's a fair question?

Chris: Nah just don't feel like commenting on the matchup or anything associated with it at this time.

Commish: Is there a reason in particular for this? Superstition? Dislike for opponent? Dislike for reporter?

Chris: No reason in particular. I am having a good day and speaking to you inevitably and without fail always seems to ruin that.

Commish: So it has nothing to do with Dave's four homer, 10 RBI night on Monday, just hours after your stunning statement?

Chris: No my team had a real nice night. Weiters is a douche bag though.

Commish: OK. Thank you for your time - any final words?

Chris: No.

Times are tense for Chris, who is clearly in a grumpy mood. Perhaps in the win-now, win-always environment he has created in the locker room, the players are feeling the pressure. And, in turn, Chris is feeling the hot seat from the fan base. Chris can't even drive to the stadium these days without turning on the radio and hearing criticism. AM, FM, SiriusXM - all of 'em taking shots.

One person who would not take a shot, though, was Dave. When I asked him his thoughts on Chris' guarantee, he didn't feel the need to stoop down to the trash talk level.

"It's going to come down to pitching," Dave said. "Chris' pitching is better than mine, and he has a ton of two-star pitchers, so I'll have to play my best matchups to win a few. It's going to be close. I'm predicting a 10-8 victory."

Did Dave just tip his hand to some of his strategy here? Perhaps, especially now with the increased media attention he's getting after the hot start. Either way, this is definitely a matchup to watch this week.