2013 Preseason Power Rankings

Gentlemen, here are your 2013 Preseason Power Rankings! This year, we've got all the fixings: Power rankings! Analysis! Haikus! Rhymes!

As always, this is a subjective process, and there isn't any specific formula used to determine the rankings. All complaints should be sent to the commissioner.


1. Ahh Harro
Rebuilding? Ha ha.
That's now a thing of the past.
Dave reloads, at last.

2. The Wright Stuff
Can Hal stay healthy?
Hopes rest on Wright and a Doc.
But that's not a shock.

3. Goldschmember
One surprise each year.
Can Chris go bottom to top?
I won't bet that prop.

4. Los Pollos Hermanos
As I'm typing this:
Gave up window seat on flight.
That's good karma, right?

5. Nyjer Please
Things are looking up.
But how can I not mention...
A Braun suspension!

6. Aw here it goes.
Fool me once and twice.
Adam's usually ranked low.
Makes me eat my crow.

7. Cole Miners
Is this the season?
He'll finally miss playoffs?
Bob probably scoffs.

8. Billy Ball
Jack's fave phrase? "DL"
Tulo, Zim and now Crawford?
Sheesh, just pull the cord.

9. Exit Sandman
Yes, Joe way down here.
Are you surprised? Well, don't be.
Even he'll agree.

10. Backdoor Slider
Three Yankees hitters?
In down year? Leave it to Ken.
No wonder he's ten.

11. Give Sosa a Chance!
Wow, Trout and Miggy!
But why such a rankings fall?
Keeps can't do it all.

12. Fireballs
Turning back the clock?
Not with this team, which is toast.
I hate the 'Balls most.