And now, the main event...

Pyros go off as the bell rings three times, and ring announcer Howard Finkle's voice echos throughout Madison Square Garden


Finkle: And now, ladies and gentleman, the main event of the night!

"Time Bomb" by Godsmack plays throughout the arena as Chris leads the Minnesota Twins to the ring.

Finkle: Introducing first, the challenger! Leaders of the Twitter Division, the 2008 and 2010 league runner up, the Minnesota Twins!

Chris enters the ring focused and holds the rope as the rest of his team files in. Adrian Gonzalez, Robinson Cano and Dan Haren lead the way. The fans cheer wildly as Chris goes to all four turnbuckles and salutes the sold-out crowd.

Suddenly, the music stops, and "Cocky" by Kid Rock blasts throughout. The cheers turn to boos. Violent boos. Bob comes out with a shit-eating grin on his face as his two-time championship team comes out behind him. More boos. A fan throws an apple, which Bob catches with one hand, takes a bite, and spits it out. Then he smiles and walks to the ring.

Finkle: And, introducing second, the champion! Two-time champion, current Facebook Division leader, the Cole Miners!

Jim Ross: Well, folks, this should be a slobberknocker! Business is about to pick up in our main event. You can hear how hostile this crowd is toward Bob, and amazingly, they're behind Chris, who never gets cheered!

Jerry "The King" Lawler: JR, I can't wait! This is a championship rematch and a possible championship preview! Let's get it on! Puppies!

The bell rings, and the Twins and Miners begin the match.

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(15 minutes later)
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J.R.: Folks, the Miners have just been controlling this match. They have the Twins on the ropes, and it's not looking good for Chris.

King: J.R., let's have some faith here. The Twins have made comebacks before. I have hope!

Chris delivers a low-blow to Bob behind the ref's back, and the crowd goes nuts.

J.R.: Oh, look at that! It could be a turning point, folks, it could be one! Both men are down but Chris is getting to his feet.

King: There's Bob getting up, too!

J.R.: Oh! A drop kick by Chris sends Bob flying to the ropes! He's going to the top rope, trying to finish off Bob with the frog splash!

Chris jumps from the top rope, but Bob moves at the last second.


J.R.: Oooooh! What a counter by Bob.

A remix of "All I Do Is Win" by DJ Khalid suddenly blasts throughout the arena.


J.R.: What the hell is this? What the hell is this!

King: We've got company, J.R.! And it's a no-DQ match, so this is all legal.

Andy runs to the ring with Socko on his hand to the cheers of the crowd.

King: It's Socko!

J.R.: No surprise that Chris had the reinforcements lined up. The whole league is against Bob right now!

King: Oh look at that, J.R., Chris is waving Andy into the ring! Bob is staggering around trying to make sense of this. His title is on the line! His division is on the line!

Andy walks into the ring and delivers a Socko right to Bob's face!

King: SOCKO! SOCKO! SOCKO! Finish him off, Chris!

J.R.: Wait a second! Wait a second! Who is that? Who is that?

The camera suddenly switches to a fan jumping the guardrail and running into the ring with a mask on.

J.R.: What the hell is this?!

The fan delivers a knockout punch with brass knuckles to Andy, who goes straight to the mat. Chris retreats, backs up, and bumps right into Bob, who delivers his finisher, "The Cold Mine." Then the fan delivers an elbow drop followed by a one-two punch on Chris.

King: Bob going for the pin now. Come on ref, don't do it! Don't do it!

J.R.: One.... two... three! God dammit, that sunuvabitch just saved Bob. The title was going to change hands, and that bastard just handed Bob the title back. Who is that? Who is that?

The fan kicks Chris out of the ring and takes off his mask.

J.R.: Jesus! It's Dave! Owner of Draft Wasn't Wed! I don't believe it. I do not believe it!

Dave takes off his shirt and reveals a Cole Miners uniform.

J.R.: He's showing his true colors! A Cole Miner the whole time. What a disgrace!

King: I'm speechless, J.R. A true blow to the league.

Mean Gene Okerlund races to the ring, microphone in hand.

Mean Gene: Dave, explain your actions now! Do you have anything to say to your fans and co-workers?

Dave takes a moment to stare down the crowd, takes a deep breathe, and answers.

Dave: Drew Stubbs.

Dave leaves the ring and walks to the back, saying nothing else.

Mean Gene: What does that mean, J.R.?

J.R.: I have no idea! Why didn't he say anything else? He needs to answer for his actions! I don't believe what we just saw tonight, folks. A true disaster. I think I speak for all Keeper League fans when I say I'm disgusted!

(Copyright information and the screen fades to black)